The top 1% of Americans saw their income increase 275% in the last 30 years.

The Cheater Says: We have a lot of problems in this country. War, recession, capital gains taxes.

This is not one of them. If anything, this is a success! This shows that since the deregulation began under Ronald Reagan – Glory to His Name! – we 1% have made more money, just as we intended. Our plan worked.

Look, the middle class got 40%, that’s enough to afford cake that we’ll let them eat. We promise our wealth will trickle down soon enough, we just have to get more hydrated.

If anything, this CBO report shows that we need to give the 1% more money.

America needs money, right? Who obviously knows how to make money more than those who have all the money?

Think of it this way: Who would you trust to build a house? Some foreclosed middle-class family, or the banker guy who owns the land, subcontracted construction to the lowest bidder, took out fire insurance on your house, sold your security code to an arsonist, and, as the flame raged, cut funding to the fire department and now wants to sell you smoke alarms?

You see, we 1% understand The Big Picture.

That’s why I’m introducing my 0-0-100 tax plan.

Give us all the money & we’ll take care of everything. Relaaaax. Go hang out in Zuccotti Park, get some fresh air in Oakland. We got this.

Give us more. After all, “More” is just an anagram for “Rome.” And don’t we want to be like the great Republic of Rome? If you keep giving the top 1% more money, that’ll be the case soon enough.