December 10, 2015
WOW! We did it.
Last year The Cheater did a piece for Fuse TV about how to cheat to raise money to buy the Wu Tang Clan album, “Once Upon A Time In Shaolin.”
Well, guess what? Martin Shkreli – the guy who cheated his way to millions in pharma – bought the album.
We cheat you not.
Here’s the Fuse TV piece:
Here’s Shkreli learning the ropes:
Here’s your chance to do the same: Get Rich Cheating
March 31, 2015
Hey Cheater, why did your book start out focused exclusively on the financial industry?
The Cheater Says: Because I have a job alert set for ‘Satire’ and this came up one day:
March 10, 2015
– “Teach” is just an anagram for “Cheat.”
– We must cheat poor people in order to stay rich.
– Aspen is full of rich people.
With that in mind, The Cheater wrote this opinion column about the AP History revisions for The Aspen Times: Kid’s Today
Snip: … By teaching kids to become unquestioning cogs in a massive economic machine, we’ll remove critical thinking from their brains, leaving room for more exceptionalism, more patriotism, more America.
After all, “more” is just an anagram for “Rome.” And don’t we want our children’s future to burn as brightly as the great Republic of Rome?
The Cheater Says: Apparently, I love anagrams.
July 18, 2013
Chase, Once Considered “The Good Bank,” Is About to Pay Another Massive Settlement
The Cheater Says: This Rolling Stone article doesn’t need a controversial cover… it just lists all the awesome ways Chase gets rich cheating. Take some notes.
July 13, 2011
Greece’s Tax Evaders Push European Economy To The Brink
The Cheater Says: You see, if enough of us cheat, we can Change. The. World. To paraphrase Darth Vader: “Join me, Cheaters, and together, we can rule The Galaxy, Inc.”
April 20, 2011
Bloomberg Lists History’s Greatest Financial Scandals
The Cheater Says: Read ’em and reap… reap the lessons, reap the rewards, reap the keys to getting rich cheating.
April 13, 2011
Giants Slugger convicted only of one wee count… obstruction
The Cheater Says: Mistrial on the other, real counts of lying to a grand jury. “Obstruction of justice?” Pfft, community service, maybe tape a Charlie Crist -esque apology. Point is, once again, if you cheat yourself enough money, you might get caught… but you Will. Not. Get. Punished. In the cost-benefit analysis – weighing the risks v. the rewards – there is no cost, there are no risks. So, please, friends, go out there and Get Rich Cheating.
February 26, 2011
“Biggest Fish Face Little Risk of Being Caught”
The Cheater Says: There are two le$$ons in this.
1. Go big, or go home. Small crime – like petty theft to feed a family – gets punished. Big crime – like scamming the country into ruin – doesn’t.
2. You might get caught cheating… but that doesn’t mean you’ll get punished cheating. In fact, getting caught cheating is just an opportunity to cheat even more. In China, the word “problem” is the same as the word “opportunity.”
We should listen to China: They have all our money.
January 18, 2011
Ex-Banker Gives Data on Tax Evasion to Wikileaks
The Cheater Says: Don’t worry about it, cheaters, just do some not-at-all-guilt-ridden prep like Bank of America did. Remember, you can’t spell “making millions by cheating on your taxes” without “cheating on your taxes.”