Le$$ons from the Great Cheaters
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Lindsay Cheathan

March 9, 2010

Lindsay Lohan Sues E-Trade for $100 Million

The Cheater Says: The suit is over the company’s Super Bowl commercial when a talking baby named Lindsay is a boyfriend stealing “milkaholic.” Ms. Lohan claims it was modeled after her and that… hold it… she’s got the same one-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.

Go on, gather yourself.

Ya see people, while such outrageous claims may make a $100 lawsuit frivolous (is the name “Lindsay” or “Li-lo” or “Past-Prime” or “Sign-of-Apocalypse”?), they’re probably worth about a $5 million settlement. Got Rich Cheating.


Filed under: Advice, News — @ 8:44 am



Shuffle Up and Cheat!

March 8, 2010

The Online Poker Cheating System

The Cheater Says: Straightforward and effective. I’m sure if you send him $49.95 your world will change. No, really, it will. $49.95. Why wouldn’t you trust a guy that uses a Unabomber-ish image and all caps?


Filed under: News — @ 8:05 am



The ABCs of Business: Always Be Cheating

March 5, 2010

Insider from ‘98 Bailouts Says the System Isn’t Better

The Cheater Says: Duh. Long-Term Capital begat Enron begat Countrywide begat Goldman, Merrill, & AIG begat… you?


Filed under: Advice, News — @ 9:46 am



Don’t Know History? Doomed to Re-Cheat It

March 2, 2010

Greece Collapse/Profiteering is Like Enron

The Cheater Says: You see, people? The lessons of cheating are eternal. Learn them now.


Filed under: News — @ 9:32 am



Cheating Wives for Lehman Brothers

March 1, 2010

Book Details Spending of Wives of Lehman

The Cheater Says: Yes, ladies - and nowadays, fellas, too - you can always just marry into money. But, you know what they say, “Marry a rich man, you pay for it the rest of your life.” Or, wait, that’s not it. It’s, “Money kicks a$$.”


Filed under: Advice, News — @ 3:33 pm



Washington, D.Cheat.

February 27, 2010

House Ethics Committee Says It’s OK to Give Lobbyists Millions in Contracts

The Cheater Says: Let’s go, people. Get on it. Lobbyists, Congressmen, bankers… Unite!


Filed under: News — @ 12:52 pm



Wall Cheat Bonus Bump

February 26, 2010

Wall Street Bonuses Rise 17%

The Cheater Says: Not good enough, people. Re-read the book and go make some real money. 17%? Pffft, I cheat that much in the shower.
Seriously, get on it. Ronald Reagan said it was Morning In America. Guess, what? It’s now Late Afternoon in America. Hurry up and get rich cheating, before the money trains stop running.


Filed under: News — @ 1:30 pm



Home Is Where The Cheat Is

February 24, 2010

Mortgage Rescue Schemes On The Rise

The Cheater Says: Hmmm. More people taking advantage of those hurt by the housing market crash. A rise in the supply of false help for those hurt by a false rise in demand. I’ll re-word this several times over the next few days, or maybe make a graph. Point it, it’s awe$ome.


Filed under: Advice — @ 5:11 pm



We Don’t Accept AmericaExcheat

February 22, 2010

New Rules for Credit Cards Kick In Today

The Cheater Says: Okay, here’s a decent challenge. Read the changes above, and - for our fellow cheaters at the credit card companies - come up with two ways to get around each and at least three ways to cheat more money.
How’s about 3+% foreign transaction fees, raised annual fees for no reason, higher charge to vendors, locusts, hail, slaying of the first born… $ee! It’s fun!


Filed under: Advice, News — @ 10:57 am



Cheating by his own rules

February 20, 2010

Tiger: “I convinced myself that normal rules didn’t apply.”

The Cheater: Well, they don’t. You’re a cheater and you’re rich. This is why we Get Rich Cheating. The rules don’t apply because, for Great Cheaters like us, there are no rules. There is no spoon.*

* Someone let me know when a Matrix reference dates me. Thanks.


Filed under: News — @ 10:23 am



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