Drugmaker Wyeth alleged to have cheated Medicaid
The Cheater Says: Duh. Entitlements have your money.
Programs like Medicaid are a great source of cheatable money: Who’s gonna deny Grandma treatment, even if Grandma doesn’t exist? No one.
Bureaucracy is what make these programs so cheatable. Ever talked to your right hand and realized it had no idea what your left hand was doing? Well, that’s what the entitlement system is like, and – for the wise cheater – both hands can be giving you money.
Le$$ons from the Great Cheaters
Got a cheating story? Send it in!
Entitle-cheats
May 20, 2009
Thanks CNBCheat!
May 15, 2009
CNBC.com’s “Bullish On Books” likes my book!
The Cheater Says: Of course they do. Tip to aspiring cheaters: Write* a book** and make millions***
* “Write” means in the Jayson Blair/James Frey totally made up and stolen style.
** “Book” means 150 point font and lots of unlicensed pictures to reach your publisher’s page minimum. No substance!
*** “Millions” means millions.
p.s. Thanks to Gloria McDonough-Taub at CNBC.com
Anti-Cheat Legislation? Nah…
May 11, 2009
“Administration Plans to Strengthen Antitrust Rules”
The Cheater Says: It’s okay, everyone. Don’t worry. You can still Get Rich Cheating.
1. Remember our philosophy: “The Can’t Catch Us All.” So True.
2. Anti-anti-trust operations are the cornerstone of our economy, and will never be shaken.
There’s a myth that the free market uses healthy competition and free-flowing information to bring supply & demand into an equilibrium where every baby is happy and every puppy romps in a field of squeak toys & kibble.
Truth is, babies turn into drunks who run over puppies with SUVs, and Great Cheaters collude to build subsidized industrial giants that are “too big to fail.”
So go about your business… of being the only business… doing business… in your business… and get rich.
The Fourth Cheat-state
May 5, 2009
The most effective enforcement of financial rules comes from business reporters.
The Cheater Says: Duh. That’s why we Great Cheaters have led a 40 year effort to discredit and bankrupt the media.
First label ’em “liberal,” then you make ’em blatantly right-wing and sensationalist (so know one believes any of it), then you buy ’em up and watch ’em die.
Hey, if they Russians can get rich without oversight, so can we.
“Better Dead Than Poor.”
A-Rod keeps A-Cheatin’
May 1, 2009
A new book claims Alex Rodriguez’ steroid use was long and proud.
The Cheater Says:
First of all, a book? You’re gonna believe a book? Books are written by losers.
Second of all, good. A-Rod should have been doing ‘roids from puberty to Yankee glory. It’s called “commitment,” people!
Third, he allegedly sold out teammates to improve his own performance. Brilliant! Remember, aspiring cheaters: We’re not here to make friends, we’re here to make money.
A-Rod’s only mistake in this whole thing was admitting he took ‘roids in the first place. Remember that?
The Cheat-ury Department
April 29, 2009
Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner loves the financial industry.
The Cheater Says: Well, duh. He’s got the power of the purse, and Great Cheaters embrace people in power, marry people in power, or become people in power.
They say “‘Time’ is money,” but really, “‘Power’ is money.”
Just remove the “powr” (pronounced “poor”) and add “Tim.”
The House that Cheat Built
April 27, 2009
Do you like baseball?
The Cheater Says: Build a $1.5-ish billion dollar taxpayer funded stadium, charge those same taxpayers $2600 to see a game (plu$ “food”) don’t create the promised park for local kids (because they’re poor), give your cheaters, er, “players” hundreds of millions of dollars, and then, just to rub it in, continue to suck.
Now look around. Guess what? You’re rich!
Cheat Green to Get Green
April 22, 2009
Happy Earth Day!
The Cheater Says: What a perfect day to scam the wealthy, gullible, and guilt-ridden!
Claim whatever you sell is “Green” and charge a premium for it.
Lululemon claimed their expensive high-end athletic wear was made from seaweed… it wasn’t, but at least the money they cheated themselves was green.
(Oh, and yes, you do look fat in that).
Easy Cheatings
April 21, 2009
“Debt Settlement Firms Offer Promises but Little Help”
The Cheater Says: That headline should read “Wise cheaters take advantage of ignorance and despair to make millions” with a subheading “because they’re awesome.”
If you can’t find someone to scam out of their last remaining pennies during these desperate days, then, well, I’m not sure I can help.
Okay! Kidding! I can help! I love you. Buy “Get Rich Cheating” and I’ll show you how to be just like Credit Solutions of America and their brilliant ilk (aka “br-ilk”).