The Cheater Says: Nice!
Join an already winning team (thanks, probably, to some financial and power-related inducements). Cha-ching!
Do so at a time and in a fashion that will make them forever in your debt. Cha-cha-ching!
Establish yourself as the sole powerful middle-of-the-road guy who can be $wayed by each and every lobbying firm in the nation. Cha-ching cha-ching cha-ching-a-ling-a-ding!
Welcome to $pectertown, DC. Population: You
Come one, come all, come Get Rich Cheating. Readings, signings, shows… Contact me for more details.
May 26 – “Get Rich Cheating” in bookstores near you!
May 26-30 – San Francisco, Stand Up at the Punchline, 8pm (10pm F/S)
May 30 – S.F., Border’s, Stonestown Galleria, 2pm
June 2 – Los Angeles, M Bar 7pm
June 5 – Denver, Tattered Cover, 7:30
June 10 – NYC. BIG HUGE BOOK PARTY (& show) Caroline’s on Broadway
June 17 – Philadelphia, Milkboy Cafe (8 pm)
June 18 – Port Washington NY, Port Washington Library, 7pm
June 22 – Boston, Border’s downtown, 1pm
June 23 – Portsmouth, NH, River Run Bookstore (7 pm)
June 25 – Turner’s Falls, Mass, Rendezvous, 7 pm
July 9 – NYC, Barnes & Noble (18th/5th ave), 6pm
July 16, 28, 30 – NYC, East To Edinburgh Festival, 59E59 Theaters, 7/9pm
July 22 – NYC, Caroline’s on Broadway, 8pm
Aug 7-30 – Edinburgh Festival Fringe, Scotland. The Stand.
Sep 30- Washington, DC, DC Arts Center
More dates added soon, including Washington DC, & Boston again. Austin, Chicago, & Seattle remain hopeful longshots…
The Cheater Says: Of course. But you paid $12 to see it, didn’t you? Classic cheating move: Tons of hype, a heaping of cartoonish violence, a skoosh of latex… heat to a boil, and BAM! Millions. Good work, Hollywood. I’ll see you at “Transformers II.”
The Cheater Says: What a perfect day to scam the wealthy, gullible, and guilt-ridden!
Claim whatever you sell is “Green” and charge a premium for it.
Lululemon claimed their expensive high-end athletic wear was made from seaweed… it wasn’t, but at least the money they cheated themselves was green.
(Oh, and yes, you do look fat in that).
The Cheater Says: That headline should read “Wise cheaters take advantage of ignorance and despair to make millions” with a subheading “because they’re awesome.”
If you can’t find someone to scam out of their last remaining pennies during these desperate days, then, well, I’m not sure I can help. Okay! Kidding! I can help! I love you. Buy “Get Rich Cheating” and I’ll show you how to be just like Credit Solutions of America and their brilliant ilk (aka “br-ilk”).
The Cheater Says: Retired? What? Are you nuts?
Your cheating earnings barely register on the Lance Armstrong scale!
You satisfied with winning the Tour de Quit?
Get your balding-head, shrunken man-things, smashing-toy-truck-roid-raging arse back on the bike, claim it was a mistake, demand a retest, and go cheat yourself some more money! NOW!
According to Cynopsis, Ex-Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich may end up starring in NBC’s summer reality series I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here if a federal judge allows him to travel to Costa Rica from where the show will originate.
The Cheater Says: Straight outta Part III of the book!
a. Use the fame from your cheating to reinvent yourself and get rich again (see Don Imus, Henry Blodget, Jason Giambi), or
b. Set up some cockamamee excuse to flee the country (when found in the ocean, HealthSouth’s Richard Scrushy claimed he was just yachting to Disney World… from Alabama). Brilliant!
This has a lot of great “Get Rich Cheating” action: Sex, lies, deceit, secrecy, cover-ups, denial, spin, and a Rovian reliance on a gullible public.
Unfortunately, it also has traceable emails and annoying reporters who obviously weren’t paid off properly, so it’s been stopped… but I bet they cheated themselves a lot of power and money before they were caught!
