Le$$ons from the Great Cheaters
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Pharamcheaticul Success!

September 4, 2009

The drug industry is closely watching a trial in NYC – the first of about 900 state & federal cases – over the side effects from Merck’s Fosamax. Merck, you may recall, also produced Vioxx, which garnered a $4.5 billion-ish settlement for about 200 court cases. Despite the litigation, Merck company stock has actually been upgraded to “strong buy”… for plaintiff’s attorney.

Across the pharmaceutical hallway, Pfizer will pay $2.3 billion to end allegations that it illegally marketed Bextra… just like it illegally marketed Neurontin… just like it’ll illegally market ‘Stop Hitting Yourself.’® Stop Hitting Yourself.® Why are you hitting yourself?

So, let me get this straight: Pfizer’s the one is the one who’ll lie to you, but Merck’s the one that’ll kill you? Got it.

The $2.3 billion is less than three weeks of Pfizer’s sales, so, it’s unlikely to stop their practice. In fact, a recently released document shows how drug companies use their marketing power to sell ineffective, but expensive, pills on an uninformed and vulnerable public. Well, duh… as all cheaters know. People Are Dumb.

Amy Schulman, Pfizer’s general counsel summed it up best:
“The vast majority of our employees spend their lives dedicated to bringing truly important medications to patients and physicians in an appropriate manner.”

What she left unsaid is that a small minority of their employees… don’t. That small minority squeezes every last dollar out of our worthless lives, and that small minority is in charge.

The Cheater Says: Kudos, drug industry. You’ve cheated yourself quite rich.


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 10:15 am



Student Cheat Agencies

September 3, 2009

Students Borrow More Than Ever for College

The Cheater Says: Sweet. Just another opportunity for predatory college loan agencies. Those guys are vicious, relentless, hound borrowers to the end of the earth… If Osama Bin Laden had a student loan, we would’ve caught him September 12.


Filed under: News — @ 5:58 am



Getting a cheat-over

September 2, 2009

Bankers who squandered billions get to do it again

The Cheater Says
: Duh. I just came back from Scotland where they invented golf… it’s a mulligan. Thwack! “Whoops, it went into the crowd and ruined a bunch of lives, but I made a fortune, can I do it again?” Yes. Yes You Can.


Filed under: News — @ 5:52 am



Squeezing Out Every Last Cheat

September 1, 2009

Carrie Prejean Sues Miss California Pageant

The Cheater Says: Cheat to win then cheat to stay then cheat when fired then sue for being caught cheating. Nice work, Great Cheater!


Filed under: News — @ 5:35 am



Another One Cheats The Dust

August 27, 2009

The Scotsman’s review of my wealth-building seminar:
“An easy listen, and in spite of himself, charming, he does have a mellifluous voice, a slick PowerPoint presentation and I will be placing an order for that book…”

The Cheater Says: I sold him on the book. How’s about you?


Filed under: Reviews — @ 5:09 am



First Cheat’s Free…

August 24, 2009

Study Shows Massive Rise In ADHD Drug Abuse Among Teens.

The Cheater Says: Get ’em hooked young, keep ’em paying forever.


Filed under: News — @ 6:54 am



Kreisler should be cheating bigger audiences

August 19, 2009

A review of my wealth seminar in Edinburgh:

“Jeff Kreisler goes where other comics fear to tread… (his) keen intellect sees to it that tired subjects are rendered shocking and original. Reflections… so clever, you wonder why they aren’t present in the political discourse… equally original and engaging… a slickly delivered, well thought-out set – Kreisler should be playing to bigger audiences.” – Fest Magazine

The Cheater Says: You’re damn right I should be.


Filed under: Reviews,Shows — @ 12:51 pm



Second Cheats

Carly Fiorina to Run for US Senate

The Cheater Says: Just like DeLay, she’s learned once you Get Rich Cheating in one industry ($42-ish million severance package after running Hewlett Packard into the ground), you use the notoriety to do it again (advisor to McCain campaign) and again (Senate run) and again (selling stolen baby organs).
Seriously, aspiring cheats, she got a huge severance… and she’s a girl!


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 2:32 am



Tom DeCheat

August 17, 2009

Tom DeLay contestant on “Dancing With The Stars”

The Cheater Says: Once you cheat, you can’t stop.


Filed under: News — @ 8:26 am



May It Please The Cheat…

August 12, 2009

Judge Attacks Bonuses

The Cheater Says: Um, Merrill, B of A… ever heard of bribery? Justice may be blind, but she’s gotta pay the rent.


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 3:56 am



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