The Cheater Says: People wonder why I haven’t said more about Tiger’s cheating. After all, I am the Cheating Expert.
Well, problem is, he’s doing it wrong. You’re supposed to Get Rich Cheating, not Lose Sponsorship Money (i.e. Get Poor) Cheating. I don’t want to teach aspiring cheaters through negatives – how does it help you act if I just say “Don’t fail like Tiger or Ghandi or Mandela”? I only offer you positive, inspiring role models like Madoff and A-Rod and Ken Lay and Ashlee Simpson and the usual.
Though, I admit, he does offer an interesting peak into the psyche of cheater… He didn’t just cheat once. He did it many times.
As you’ll all learn, the your first cheat is exhilarating – whether it’s infidelity, falsifying your SEC filings, rigging an election, getting cast in a tv show, or winning the Tour de France.
What’s even more exciting – what’s the real addictive impulse – is when you don’t get caught. It is that moment. Time will stop. You will be bathed in the light of knowledge and power as you realize the rules don’t apply to you, because there are no rules. Nothing can stop you from getting another $3 million bonus, another gold medal, another cocktail waitress. You will be transformed. You will be reborn. You will Get Rich Cheating.
I will be there to help.
Now, go forth, my friends, to victory.
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