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Madoff Sentenced

June 29, 2009

For running a massive Ponzi scheme, Bernie Madoff got 150 years in prison, though he told investors it was 175 years… and they each told two investors it was 190 years… and so on and so on and so on…

Are we sure he’s really going to prison? The man stole $60 billion… are you telling me he can’t afford a clone?

At least he kept his pleas for mercy sane. When the CEO of Brocade Communications was sentenced for a backdated option scandal – you know, changing the date of something in the past, time travel, using a Delorean, 1.21 gigawatts, and Michael J. Fox – he said, “I’m sorry. There is much that I regret, and if I could turn back the clock, I would.” Um. Isn’t that what got him into this situation in the first place? That’s like Jeffrey Dahmer telling a judge, “I’m sorry. There’s much that I regret, and if I could just kidnap and eat all my mistakes, I would.”


Filed under: News — @ 8:40 am



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