Here’s a chart of all the nonprofit organizations who make millions by making money disappear.
The Cheater Says: Magic! Just de-fund the enforcement agencies and the magic will spread… Sign up now!
Le$$ons from the Great Cheaters
Got a cheating story? Send it in!
“Non” Profit$
October 29, 2013
13 Billion Cheats
October 22, 2013
JPMorgan Chase Settles MBS Conflict with Justice Department for $13 Billion
The Cheater Says: If they settled for $13 billion, imagine how much they actually cheated. Gotta be at least $200 billion, right? Geniu$.
$preading The Word
September 10, 2013
BusinessInsider offers Unethical Like Hacks (Part I, Part II) and a study finds that “Cheaters feel upbeat when no one gets hurt.”
The Cheater Says: Looks like they stole my ideas. Cool by me. The more of us who cheat, the better, because they can’t catch us all.
Couple Quick Gold-i-Cheats
July 22, 2013
Moving Aluminum Around, Skimming Off the Top
&
The Art – of Profit-Making – Institutes
The Cheater Says:
Common thread #1. Scams milking you and Uncle $am.
Common thread #2: Our hero, Goldman Sachs, owns both.
Get Rich Cha$ing
July 18, 2013
Chase, Once Considered “The Good Bank,” Is About to Pay Another Massive Settlement
The Cheater Says: This Rolling Stone article doesn’t need a controversial cover… it just lists all the awesome ways Chase gets rich cheating. Take some notes.
Cheat Dump
May 15, 2013
The Cheater Says: Been busy counting money, so here are a few recent in$pirations…
• Enron’s Skilling Gets Out of Jail Early
• The Rich Have Gained $5.6 Trillion in the ‘Recovery,’ While the Rest of Us Have Lost $669 Billion
• Obama Nominates a Penny for Some Bucks
• Rich Manhattan moms hire handicapped tour guides so kids can cut lines at Disney World
• No Rich Child Left Behind
• See me on TV talking Sanford, Weiner, and other traditional cheaters finding “redemption”/a way to make more money.
• The awesome power of high-speed trading:
More $oon…
In$piration: Richard Nixon
March 28, 2013
Nixon Sabotaged End of Vietnam War
The Cheater Says: You already knew he was Watergate sneaky, and a platinum recording artist, but did you know he cost thousands of lives and international peace just to win an election… and get power… and get what? Money. Exactly. No, he is not a crook… he’s a cheater. And a genius. And a hero.
Our $ecret is Out!
March 13, 2013
And The Banks Get Off Easy – by Charlie Pierce
The Cheater Says: So, yeah, everybody knows what the problem is… but not everybody’s smart enough to jump aboard the problem and milk it for millions why they can… Except for you, my aspiring cheaters. Read, repeat, & reap…
More from the Vampire Squid
March 11, 2013
Goldman Sachs is “Rigging the IPO Game”
The Cheater Says: Well, duh. What they don’t know, can help me.