Earlier this week, The Cheater went on MSNBC to talk about Connecticut, Hedge Funds, and, apparently, robots.
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
Le$$ons from the Great Cheaters
Got a cheating story? Send it in!
Hewlett-Cheatard
“Disgraced HP CEO to get nearly $28 million”
The Cheater Says: But, HP, when you fired Carly Fiorina (running for US Senate) for incompetence (running HP into the ground), you only gave her $21.4 million… Oh, wait, that’s about right – 25% less – she’s a girl.
New around here? Let’s cheat.
August 3, 2010
The Cheater Says: Hey, new friends. Wanna make A LOT of money?
– Read the blog
– Buy the book
– Attend the seminar
You’re welcome.
Dallas: The City of Brotherly Cheat
Billionaire Brothers Run $550 Million Scam
The Cheater Says: These guys, the Wyly brothers, were major philanthropists. They say “Charity Starts at Home…” and so it does. Through their generosity, they maintained The Sam Wyly Needs A Bigger Mansion Foundation, The Charles Wyly Probably Should Get Another Yacht Endowment, and The, C’Mon, You Never Suspected Us Even Though Our Name Is Basically “Wiley”? Fund. Kudo$.
Misallocheation of Funds?
July 28, 2010
“Military Contractor On Trial For Buying Porn, Prostitutes And $100K Flag Belt Buckle”
The Cheater Sings: War! Uhn! Wha-a-t is it good for? De-e-fense contractors! I’ll $ay it again! War!
Tony Haycheat
July 27, 2010
BP Chief Costs Firm Billions, and the Ocean Its Life… Then Gets $18 Million Golden Parachute
The Cheater: Once again, everyone, once you’re a CEO, the strategy is to perform just poorly enough to get a really bitchin’ severance package.
See also, Eisner (Disney, $220 million), Nardelli (Home Depot, $210M), Raines (Fannie Mae, $148M), McKinnell (Pfizer, $213M), Satan (Heaven, $666M).
Cheat Upon Cheat
July 22, 2010
BP Claims Line is in action
The Cheater Says: Since this cheater has done so much for themselves, why don’t we do something for ourselves… and to them. Become these people with these claims:
• A blues singer whose life – wife done left me, job won’t pay, dog won’t fetch – actually seems pretty good. No motivation to sing.
• A comedian who really doesn’t think it’s funny any more. Wasted years of comedy training, now going into tragedy. Need money to start at sadness academy.
• The Mayans, for copyright infringement on their whole 2012-the-world-ends thing.
• Mike Brown, GWB’s head of FEMA during Hurricane Katrina. Loss of economic opportunity. Was writing a book, “How I Destroyed New Orleans and the Gulf.” Publisher backing out of deal.
• BP for lost money via the BP Claims Line.
Hall of Glory
July 19, 2010
The Mu$eum of American Finance has an exhibit about Great Cheaters.
The Cheater Says: They clearly stole the idea from me. Well played, Museum. Well played.
Rest In Cheat
July 13, 2010
George Steinbrenner Passes Away
The Cheater Says: Some “export/import” money, campaign donation controversy, spying on employees, bombast, purchasing of athletic championships, employment of steroid users, extortion of taxpayer-funded stadiums… sounds like a life well lived, and riches well cheated. A role model for us all.
You Say “Tomato,” I Say “Massive Financial Scam”
July 11, 2010
“Bank of America Says $10.7 Billion of Trades Wrongly Classified”
The Cheater Says: They were classified as “awesome.” Fraud, schmaud. Just a “whoopsie” that earned/saved/cheated the company enough money to fund all the teaching jobs cut this year. Yay!