The Times reports that 25 Hedge Fund managers made $11.6 billion in ’08.

The Cheater says: Run a hedge fund!
Not a reserve of cash to pay your gardener, hedge funds are big green bales of cash separating the lawns of prosperity from the sidewalks of poverty. Their managers gets at least 1% of the value of the fund, regardless of how it performs, then another 20% of the profit.

Easy pickings:
Manage a $1 billion hedge fund, so get 1% ($10 million) off the top. If you make no money, take that $10 mill. Or, lie and say the fund made $100 million, then take 20% ($20 million) of that. Or, steal the whole $1 billion, and take the $10 mill, too.
(What do you do later when people question your numbers? That’s right, you restate your past financials, declare bankruptcy, get immunity from your Congressional friends, and move to Turks & Caicos!!! Hooray!)

You’ll be the envy of your smarter, more experienced, harder-working friends. Your poor friends.