Le$$ons from the Great Cheaters
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“Notions of justice and morali-cheat”

September 14, 2009

Judge Rejects Settlement Over Merrill Bonuses

The Cheater Says: (My favorite line) “It is quite something else for the very management that is accused of having lied to its shareholders to determine how much of those victims’ money should be used to make the case against the management go away” – Now that is some great cheating.

Thanks to JG for the tip


Filed under: News — @ 9:57 am



Get Rich Cheating in Washington DC

September 13, 2009

Jeff Kreisler’s Get Rich Cheating at the DC Arts Center, Wed. Sept. 30, 7:30 pm

Bill Hicks Spirit Award winner and bestselling author Jeff Kreisler proves that, in these times, there’s only one proven path to ridiculous amounts of money: Cheating.

Here is a Facebook event page.
Here is a Press Release.
Here are advance tickets (recc’d) on Brown Paper Tickets.
Here are three images (Headshot, Laughing, Book Cover)

The Cheater Says: Come get rich in the cheating heart of the capitol.


Filed under: News,Shows — @ 6:23 pm



The More Things Change…

September 12, 2009

Wall Street thrives without reform, a year after collapse

The Cheater Says: … the more they stay the cheat. Raise your hand if you thought there’d be substantive reform. Keep your hand way up in the air… while I reach into your pocket. Thanks!


Filed under: News — @ 8:05 am



Charge it to your credit cheat

September 10, 2009

Credit Card Companies Get Around Reform

The Cheater Says: That guy from that movie was right: Plastics.


Filed under: News — @ 8:34 am



Fannie Cheat and Cheatie Mac

September 9, 2009

Taxpayers Foot Cheaters Legal Defense Bills

The Cheater Says: The gov’ment made ’em, the gov’ment paid ’em, the gov’ment bailed ’em out, and the gov’ment paid for them to claim they didn’t cheat… even though they did. Nice. Never stop milking it.

Thanks to alibeamish for the tip!


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 9:31 am



Cheating Miss Daisy

September 7, 2009

Wall Street will securitize life insurance policies.

The Cheater Says: Absolute brilliance! Now bankers can simply hunt and kill to make money.
Granny living a little too long for your 401K? Call Goldman Sachs’ Death Panel today…

More on this soon… Genius!


Filed under: News — @ 6:40 pm



Pharamcheaticul Success!

September 4, 2009

The drug industry is closely watching a trial in NYC – the first of about 900 state & federal cases – over the side effects from Merck’s Fosamax. Merck, you may recall, also produced Vioxx, which garnered a $4.5 billion-ish settlement for about 200 court cases. Despite the litigation, Merck company stock has actually been upgraded to “strong buy”… for plaintiff’s attorney.

Across the pharmaceutical hallway, Pfizer will pay $2.3 billion to end allegations that it illegally marketed Bextra… just like it illegally marketed Neurontin… just like it’ll illegally market ‘Stop Hitting Yourself.’® Stop Hitting Yourself.® Why are you hitting yourself?

So, let me get this straight: Pfizer’s the one is the one who’ll lie to you, but Merck’s the one that’ll kill you? Got it.

The $2.3 billion is less than three weeks of Pfizer’s sales, so, it’s unlikely to stop their practice. In fact, a recently released document shows how drug companies use their marketing power to sell ineffective, but expensive, pills on an uninformed and vulnerable public. Well, duh… as all cheaters know. People Are Dumb.

Amy Schulman, Pfizer’s general counsel summed it up best:
“The vast majority of our employees spend their lives dedicated to bringing truly important medications to patients and physicians in an appropriate manner.”

What she left unsaid is that a small minority of their employees… don’t. That small minority squeezes every last dollar out of our worthless lives, and that small minority is in charge.

The Cheater Says: Kudos, drug industry. You’ve cheated yourself quite rich.


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 10:15 am



Student Cheat Agencies

September 3, 2009

Students Borrow More Than Ever for College

The Cheater Says: Sweet. Just another opportunity for predatory college loan agencies. Those guys are vicious, relentless, hound borrowers to the end of the earth… If Osama Bin Laden had a student loan, we would’ve caught him September 12.


Filed under: News — @ 5:58 am



Getting a cheat-over

September 2, 2009

Bankers who squandered billions get to do it again

The Cheater Says
: Duh. I just came back from Scotland where they invented golf… it’s a mulligan. Thwack! “Whoops, it went into the crowd and ruined a bunch of lives, but I made a fortune, can I do it again?” Yes. Yes You Can.


Filed under: News — @ 5:52 am



Squeezing Out Every Last Cheat

September 1, 2009

Carrie Prejean Sues Miss California Pageant

The Cheater Says: Cheat to win then cheat to stay then cheat when fired then sue for being caught cheating. Nice work, Great Cheater!


Filed under: News — @ 5:35 am



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