Le$$ons from the Great Cheaters
Got a cheating story? Send it in!


In$piration

March 31, 2015

Hey Cheater, why did your book start out focused exclusively on the financial industry?

The Cheater Says: Because I have a job alert set for ‘Satire’ and this came up one day:

For real$.


Filed under: Advice — @ 11:21 am



High Altitude School Cheats

March 10, 2015

Facts:
– “Teach” is just an anagram for “Cheat.”
– We must cheat poor people in order to stay rich.
– Aspen is full of rich people.

With that in mind, The Cheater wrote this opinion column about the AP History revisions for The Aspen Times: Kid’s Today

Snip: … By teaching kids to become unquestioning cogs in a massive economic machine, we’ll remove critical thinking from their brains, leaving room for more exceptionalism, more patriotism, more America.

After all, “more” is just an anagram for “Rome.” And don’t we want our children’s future to burn as brightly as the great Republic of Rome?

The Cheater Says: Apparently, I love anagrams.


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 10:13 am



Get Rich Cha$ing

July 18, 2013

Chase, Once Considered “The Good Bank,” Is About to Pay Another Massive Settlement

The Cheater Says: This Rolling Stone article doesn’t need a controversial cover… it just lists all the awesome ways Chase gets rich cheating. Take some notes.


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 10:36 am



Cheat Dump

December 7, 2011

Blagojevich Gets 14 Years
Shopping Malls Track You Via Cellphone
Merck Pays Tiny $1B Fine
Banker Says Exploitation is the Purpose of Banking
$7.7 Trillion in Secret Loans
Too Much Arsenic in Juice Forces FDA to… Lower Standards for Arsenic in Juice
MF Global, Meet Enron. Enron, MF Global
Why Kids Cheat on the SAT: an academic study & a Forbes one

The Cheater Says: So many cheats, so little time…


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 12:18 pm



It’s All Cheat To Me

July 13, 2011

Greece’s Tax Evaders Push European Economy To The Brink

The Cheater Says: You see, if enough of us cheat, we can Change. The. World. To paraphrase Darth Vader: “Join me, Cheaters, and together, we can rule The Galaxy, Inc.”


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 5:07 am



Heroe$

April 20, 2011

Bloomberg Lists History’s Greatest Financial Scandals

The Cheater Says
: Read ’em and reap… reap the lessons, reap the rewards, reap the keys to getting rich cheating.


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 6:16 pm



Barry Out On Bond$

April 13, 2011

Giants Slugger convicted only of one wee count… obstruction

The Cheater Says: Mistrial on the other, real counts of lying to a grand jury. “Obstruction of justice?” Pfft, community service, maybe tape a Charlie Crist -esque apology. Point is, once again, if you cheat yourself enough money, you might get caught… but you Will. Not. Get. Punished. In the cost-benefit analysis – weighing the risks v. the rewards – there is no cost, there are no risks. So, please, friends, go out there and Get Rich Cheating.


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 4:06 pm



Nobody Gets Puni$hed

February 26, 2011

Biggest Fish Face Little Risk of Being Caught

The Cheater Says: There are two le$$ons in this.
1. Go big, or go home. Small crime – like petty theft to feed a family – gets punished. Big crime – like scamming the country into ruin – doesn’t.
2. You might get caught cheating… but that doesn’t mean you’ll get punished cheating. In fact, getting caught cheating is just an opportunity to cheat even more. In China, the word “problem” is the same as the word “opportunity.”
We should listen to China: They have all our money.


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 5:57 pm



Somebody Told WikiCheats About You

January 18, 2011

Ex-Banker Gives Data on Tax Evasion to Wikileaks

The Cheater Says: Don’t worry about it, cheaters, just do some not-at-all-guilt-ridden prep like Bank of America did. Remember, you can’t spell “making millions by cheating on your taxes” without “cheating on your taxes.”


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 9:38 am



Wham Bam, Thank You Cam

November 15, 2010

Auburn QB Cam Newton allegedly stole a laptop, cheated on exams, and extorted money for his football services

The Cheater Says: … and once he’s done making million$ for his college, the SEC, the NCAA, the BCS, the major TV networks and their sponsors, he’ll go make a a bundle for himself in the NFL. It’s a cheating win-win-winwinwin.


Filed under: Advice,News — @ 9:53 am



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